


Some Free Time This Is

by CxNxPxS



Category: Hunter X Hunter
Genre: Alternate Universe, Comedy, Dirty Thoughts, F/M, Pool Party, Prison AU, Short Drabbles, Takes place sometime in the fan fic Trapped, Violent Thoughts, eating contest
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-03-02
Updated: 2018-08-04
Packaged: 2018-09-27 21:17:29
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 13,073
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10050470
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CxNxPxS/pseuds/CxNxPxS
Summary: You want to enjoy your free time in prison but your cellmates make it impossible.





	1. Chapter 1

 

 

 

Hisoka knows that he’s gorgeous, built, and looks good in anything. Well almost anything. He doesn’t look good in Chrollo’s or Illumi’s outfit. Hell, he doesn’t look in a speedo which is odd since it shows his muscular body; however, to you he looks like a pervert who likes to peep on others. It’s hard to explain why he looks this way since you don’t know what a peeping tom looks like.

You’ve never encountered one and don’t want to.

You grit your teeth as you sit down on a patio chair near the pool. Chrollo, Shalnark, Kite, Phinks, Illumi, and Feitan sit across from you quietly, staring at the prisoners swimming in the deep end. Their silence makes you feel very uncomfortable and anxious for some reason. Maybe it’s because you don’t know if they are going to slit someone’s throat or attempt to crack someone’s skull open.

They’re unpredictable; especially Hisoka whenever he licks his lips and mutters grotesque things underneath his breath, sending shivers down your spine. The stupid bastard really knows how to freak people out with one simple look or a body movement. If he scratches his hair, it makes you anxious. If he moves his foot, it makes you want to run to safety. If he gets up to use the restroom, you wish someone would kill him so that he never appears in front of you again.

That’s how bad it is to be around the murderous clown. It’s unfortunate that he’s your cellmate who loves to take long dumps in the morning and purposely starts fights with others to ease his boredom. Sometimes you wish he’d act normal for once in his life but that’s never going to happen.

“Is anyone sitting here?” Hisoka asks pulling out the chair next to you without waiting for an answer. He sits down, wearing a speedo that makes your stomach churn and crosses his leg. “I’m glad the guard allowed us to swim today. I was planning on searching for a new toy to play with in the gym room.”

“That’s nice,” you mutter without making eye contact with him.

Feitan leans back against his chair and snorts. “Why are you wearing a speedo for? It’s too small and if you were to jump around a lot, something might pop out.”

“Nothing’s going to happen,” Hisoka replies in a teasing tone. He makes a card appear in his hand and tosses it on the table. It slides across the surface and stops in front of Chrollo. “Say, why don’t we have a swimming contest, danchou?”

A swimming contest doesn’t seem like a bad idea. Hisoka can hide his speedo in the water and you can enjoy some peace and quiet until something bad happens.  Well, hopefully nothing happens in the pool. What could happen anyway?

Oh wait, a lot could happen with Hisoka around.

Chrollo looks up from his book and eyes the prisoners in the pool. “I’m not in the mood for one of your games right now. Besides, the other prisoners won’t allow us to have a swimming race. We’ll have to wait for everyone to leave.”

“Or I could make everyone leave,” Phinks says cracking his knuckles. He stands up and takes a step forward but Chrollo shakes his head to let him know that it’s unnecessary.

Thank goodness Chrollo is preventing Phinks from snapping someone’s neck. The last thing you want to deal with is the guard’s mouth for your cellmate’s reckless behavior. If that were to happen, you make sure they suffer for ruining your free time.

Hisoka scoots his chair closer to you causing goosebumps to appear on your arms. Why in the hell is he bothering you for? Why can’t he continue to converse with Chrollo?

“Say, why don’t you entertain me my special fruit,” Hisoka whispers. He moves his lips closer to your ear until his hot breath kisses your skin. “I know of a little game that we could play? It involves me…”

You stand up quickly. “Why don’t we play a game called make Hisoka shut the hell up?”

Kite eyes widen a little. “What type of game is this?”

“Well,” you point to Hisoka. “We need duct tape and rope. Wait, we need super glue. Yes super glue.”

“What’s the super glue for?” Shalnark asks.

Illumi tilts his head to the side. “Why don’t we poison Hisoka? That’s the best way to silence him.”

“We’re trying to shut him up not kill him,” you remind Illumi.

The assassin laughs a little. “When I was a child, I us….”

“Nobody cares,” Phinks interrupts him.

“Why won’t you let me kill the assassin, danchou?” Feitan asks Chrollo in an angry tone.

Chrollo turns to another page in his book. “Don’t let his words bother you. Just ignore him.”

“You know what! I’m going to back to the prison cell!” you walk away from the table gritting your teeth.

It looks like you won’t be able to enjoy your free time after all.


	2. Chapter 2

 

You love reading books in the library, taking cooking classes, and folding your laundry in the south wing of the prison because it peaceful and you don’t have to deal with your obnoxious cellmates. Whenever the guard suggests using your free time card to escape the prison cell, you volunteer to leave with hope your cellmates don’t choose the same location to relax.

The library is quiet by the time you arrive to it early morning and there’s barely anyone inside. The aisles have books on the floor and there are desks against the wall with small lamps on top. Surprisingly enough the prisoners who’ve found a book to read aren’t sitting at any of the desks for some strange reason. It makes you wonder if they bring the books back to their prison cell to read for the rest of the day.

At least that’s what you would do but unfortunately your cellmates decided to stay in the prison cell. They claim they’ve used up all of their free time cards for the week which is a lie since you saw some cards on the sink, in the laundry basket and underneath the bunkbed where Illumi and Shalnark sleep.

Why aren’t they using their free time cards? Do they really like being cooped up all day in a tiny place like a dog in a kennel? There has to be something that they want to do today.

You take the steps to the second floor, smiling widely because it’s still quiet and the prisoners aren’t bothering you. You thought they would since you’re the only female in an all-male prison but it turns out they don’t want to mess around with someone who has deadly cellmates. And they have good reasons to stay away. Who wants to get into a fight with a murderous clown, psychotic thieves, a deranged assassin, and an ex pro hunter?

Nobody does unless they want to lose a limb or a fingernail if they’re fighting Feitan. The small thief loves to peel off his victim’s fingernails or toenails and place them in a jar that he keeps next to his pillow. It’s very unsettling and quite gross whenever you think about it or see it on his bed. You want to throw it away but he may end up peeling off your nails while you’re sleeping.

“I have three hours to myself and I’m allowed to bring my lunch here. I think I might find a book first,” you whisper as you enter an aisle that’s next to a large window. Several sea animals swim past it slowly, casting moving shadows on the floor.

Just as you begin to search for a good book to read, Illumi’s loud voice echoes in the air followed by Kite’s and Chrollo’s. Why in the hell are they at the library? You thought they were going to stay in the prison cell for the rest of the day. Better yet, why did they have to choose this place to spend their free time?

Why?!

You tip toe down the aisle as if the floor will make a loud creaking noise and try to pretend that they aren’t on the first floor. A large green book that has a picture of a diamond on it sticks out of the bottom shelf. As you reach down to grab it, Illumi appears in front of you with his dead fish eyes, causing you to crash into his muscular chest. He places his hands on your shoulders and gently pushes you to the side.

“You should watch where you’re going. If you see someone in front of you, say excuse me,” Illumi reaches down to grab the large green book and opens it up to the table of contents before closing it. “I didn’t know you liked to read books.”

_What is she doing in the library? I don’t know what most women do these days but she seems like the type to have sex or take a cooking class with morons. Or maybe she’s stalking me. Ha,ha,ha. That’s must be it. She has seen me naked in the shower plenty of times and I’m sure she stares at me when I’m sleeping. She wants to have sex with me and ask for my hand in marriage. Mother wouldn’t accept her since she’s not a killer nor is she that good looking. Well maybe she is a little good looking._

What the hell Illumi! Nobody wants to marry a psychotic assassin who believes others are stalking him. Isn’t it the other way around? He seems like he’s stalking you otherwise he wouldn’t have known what book you were going to grab. He must have followed you to the library from a distance and returned to the prison cell before the guard had arrived and used his free time card.

Chrollo and Kite walk down the aisle with their hands in their pockets while keeping their eyes glued to the books on the shelf. You attempt to grab the book out of Illumi’s hand but he moves away from you quickly.

“I’m going to check this book out and read it in one of the study rooms,” Illumi says loudly as he looks over at you with a twinkle in his eyes.

As soon as he exits the aisle, you sigh hard. “Why did you guys choose the library? Why didn’t you go to the pool or the lounge to relax?”

Chrollo pulls a book off the top shelf and opens it. “Does it bother you that we’re here?”

“No,” you lie.

Yes it does bother you. This is your chance to enjoy some peace and quiet and it looks like it won't happen.

“I’m not sure why Illumi’s at the library but I want to read a book while I wash my clothes. Would you like to join me in the laundry room?” Kite asks.

That does seem like an alternative place to spend your free time away from everyone. Plus there’s a mini fridge and a pool table in the corner of the room which means if you got bored you could play a game with Kite.

“I’ll come with you,” you reply.

“I’ll meet you in the room as soon as I grab my dirty laundry from the prison cell,” Kite says grabbing a book from the bottom shelf.

~*~

“What are you doing here?” you ask Illumi rudely. “I thought you were going to read a book in the library?”

Illumi doesn’t look up from his book. “I decided to read my book here while I wash my clothes.”

“Okay, well can’t you go to a different laundry room? There’s one closer to our prison cell. I don’t know why you decided to choose this one since it’s not in our wing,” you sit down in a chair across the room and open your book.

_I choose this room so that I can keep an eye on her. I’m curious about something. If I were to take off my clothes and toss them into a washing machine, would she stare at my body? I’ve never been around a lot of women so I’m not sure what they’re interested in these days. Ah, I remember reading a dating book that says women like it when a man puts whip cream on his member but I don’t have any so that won’t work. Maybe I can just show her my manhood._

You almost choke on your spit from his dirty thoughts. Is he serious? What woman in her right mind want to look at his manhood let alone imagine his naked body? He’s a psychotic assassin who probably enjoys sticking needles into his dates head than screwing their brains out. And what type of dating book is he reading that recommends erotic activities? That isn’t an appropriate dating book at all. Who gave it to him?

Kite enters the room and places his laundry basket on top of a table and opens up a washing machine’s lid. He dumps his clothes inside of it, pours laundry detergent, and presses the start button. As he sits down in a chair near you, Illumi shuts his book hard as if he’s pissed about something.

“Is it hot in here?” Illumi lifts up his shirt, exposing the muscles on his chest.

“If you're hot go take a shower,” Kite says.

“Maybe I will take a shower,” Illumi takes off his shirt and tosses it into an empty washing machine. 

“Go strip inside the shower room!” you yell.

It seems like you won't be able to enjoy your free time again.  

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please leave a kudo or comment if you like. :)


	3. Chapter 3

 

 

The alarm clock beeps loudly on the coffee table in the dark prison cell until Kite presses the snooze button, immediately silencing the nose. You open your eyes for a few seconds before closing them again and burying yourself in the two blankets wrapped around your body.

A guard should be stopping by the cell soon to fetch everyone for breakfast; a meal you don’t really want to eat because it consists of oatmeal, toast, boiled eggs, and orange juice. If the cooks altered the menu every once in a while, you’d enjoy eating breakfast in the spacious cafeteria next to your obnoxious cellmates, but that’s not going to happen. The prison doesn’t care about satisfying the prisoner’s needs unless a crisis occurs.

Kite sits up on the couch and looks over at you yawning silently. You glance over at him for a few moments before pulling the blanket over your face so that Phinks doesn’t try to wake you. If a blanket or a pillow covers your face, it signals the others to leave you alone unless they want a broken finger. Well, an attempt to break their finger which is doubtful since they are skilled dangerous criminals who should be chained to a wall with tape over their mouth.

“Whoever’s eating breakfast needs to line up next to the door before the guard stops by,” Kite says in a hoarse voice that sounds like he’s caught a cold. He clears his throat a few times before speaking again. This time his voice is much clearer. “Don’t worry about saving a spot for me because I’m going to eat my food in the cell.”

Chrollo sits up on the couch and stretches his arms. “Would you mind getting me a cup of coffee and a bagel?”

“That’s if they have bagels. Most likely it’s the same disgusting food they usually serve every day,” Phinks reminds Chrollo.

Feitan hops off the top bunk and races over to the toilet before Hisoka gets to it. He unzips his pants and empties his bladder into the clean porcelain bowl before flushing and washing his hands in a star shape sink that has a diamond shape soap bar. He doesn’t bother drying his hands on a towel but instead uses his pants to rid the water clinging to his fingers.

“Danchou, I’ll get us breakfast and bring it back here since it seems like everyone wants to sleep in on our free day,” Feitan says.

Shalnark looks down from the top bunk. “Could you get me pancakes, scramble eggs, and a muffin?”

“I wouldn’t mind a yogurt, an apple, and milk,” Hisoka adds.

Illumi shifts on the bottom bunk for a few seconds before emerging from the cocoon like structure he made out of his blankets. His hair is disheveled and there are some sleeping bags underneath his eyes. He yawns long and hard before snapping his finger at Feitan as if he’s one of his butlers from the Zoldyck manor.

“I want tea, apple bunnies, and a muffin,” Illumi says in a joyful tone.

Feitan narrows his eyes. “They don’t make apple bunnies.”

“Make me apple bunnies and make sure my tea is scorching hot,” Illumi lies his head back down on his pillow and closes his eyes. “Also, I want…”

“They don’t serve any of the food you guys want! It’s the same old crap they’ve been serving us for the last few months!” Phinks says in a booming voice that makes you flinch a little.

“Actually, the cooks are serving a variety of food today since the prison is clean,” Kite says.

Hisoka’s eyes light up. “Well if that’s the case, I want…”

“Just get them whatever they want Feitan!” you yell while clenching your fist.

Why do they always have to argue about everything? Why can’t they ever agree on anything? It’s extremely annoying and it makes you want to actually eat breakfast so that you can escape the prison cell.

It looks like you won’t be able to enjoy your free time once again.


	4. Chapter 4

 

 

 

“You have five minutes to tell me what happened inside of cell 49!” the guard yells placing his hand on top of the gun holster attached to the belt his pants. He stares at you with fire in his eyes and slowly looks away to make eye contact with Hisoka who stands with his back against the wall, chewing on bungee gum.

How Hisoka managed to get a pack of bungee gum is a mystery considering that it’s not sold at the store. At least you don’t believe it’s sold there because the last time you went shopping; there wasn’t a section for gum on the shelf next to the register.

Sometimes you wish they sold gum, potato chips, and alcohol at the store. Not bungee gum. Heck no. It tastes like someone mixed strawberries, mangos, and chalk together. You don’t see why Hisoka enjoys chewing on it so much.  

“So? Is anyone going to tell me what happened?” the guard asks moving his hand off the gun holster. He points to Feitan. “Where were you this morning? I strictly remember telling you to clean the shower room and the laundry room. Why didn’t you do it?”

Feitan was supposed to clean this morning? That’s interesting because he never mentioned anything to anyone before leaving. Well, he usually doesn’t utter a word when he gets up unless if he needs to take a piss and Hisoka is taking a dump, which last for what seems like hours, he becomes very vocal.

_Look at my special fruit all worried that something bad might happened to us. I wish the guard would point his gun at me and try to put a bullet in my skull. I’ve been aching to kill someone and he will satisfy my itch until I can find a powerful opponent. It’s such a shame majority of the strong prisoners are locked up in the north wing. I need to find a way over there. Maybe I can volunteer for night patrol with her. Not only will I be able to keep an eye on my special fruit, I can window shop for unripe fruit._

Sometimes you really wish you couldn’t hear people’s thoughts, especially Hisoka’s. The very fact that he associates window shopping, which is something you love to do, with finding victim’s to kill makes you hate him even more. Seriously, what the hell is wrong with him?

Oh wait; he’s a psychopath who enjoys searching for new toys to destroy to ease his boredom because apparently everything is dull unless there’s bloodshed.

Phinks nudges you in the side with his elbow to get your attention but you ignore him so that the guard doesn’t chew your head off for talking. You move an inch away from him but he moves closer to you, clearing his throat and attempting to you nudge you in the side again, this time with his finger.

“Did you want to join the play? I need volunteer points so that I can get free time again. The audition starts this afternoon,” Phinks whispers.

That’s right there’s an audition for a play about lovers traveling the galaxy together on a train that stops at different planets. You don’t remember the play’s name, but it seems like something you want to watch instead of acting in it; however, if you were to act in it, it will give you volunteer points for free time and a call home.

It does sound like fun. The place where the play will be held is in an old theater located in the west wing. You’ve been there once to pick up chairs and a table to bring back to the cafeteria. There were rows of leather chairs with small tables in between them and a large stage that had beautiful wooden floor. The ceiling had landscape paintings on it and in the middle was a large crystal chandelier.

If you had the choice to revisit the opera theater again, you would do it in a heartbeat. It looks like you’ll get your chance if you audition for the play.

“What time does it start?” you whisper back to Phinks while keeping your eye on the guard.

Phinks leans closer to your ear. “It starts around noon. They’re choosing the cast right away instead of waiting to make a decision. I really want to audition for the main role.”

You snort. “I’m sorry but that doesn’t seem like something you would do. I can’t imagine you acting on a stage in front of a large audience.”

“The others don’t know this but I do like broadways and I’ve always been interested in acting. I just never had the motivation to do it until now. I really want some free time so that I can go to the gym and workout,” Phinks touches his stomach with his hand and shakes his head. “I’m starting to gain weight a little.”

You eye the uniform hugging his toned body carefully to see if he’s really gaining weight anywhere but don’t see anything. Of course it’s hard to tell since he’s wearing clothes, but he hasn’t requested for a bigger size and the last time you saw him naked, there wasn’t an inch of fat on his body. He may think that’s he’s out of shape because he’s not exercising as much as he used to outside the prison, but he’s still in good shape.

In fact all of your cellmates are in good shape. They exercise whenever they get a chance to and eat like a pig. You wonder where all of the food goes but remember they have a high metabolism. Sometimes you wish your metabolism was as high as there’s but unfortunately you have to work out twice as hard and watch what you eat so that you don’t gain any weight.

Luckily the prison doesn’t give you any junk food besides chocolate pudding or on special occasions strawberry waffles.

“Since no one wants to tell me what happened, I’ll have to take away all of your privileges,” the guard says looking back and forth at everyone to see if someone will spill the beans.

_Look at these bastards. I want to throw their asses into the white room so that they won’t be a nuisance to me anymore. I’m glad the new warden created that room to replace the hole. Oh they’ll love this room a lot. Not only will they get to spend days inside of a room with no lights on but they’ll do it naked. I wonder what would happen if we threw her into one of the rooms with her cellmates. I bet they would have sex. I wonder if they have already. Let’s hope they use some protection. We can’t have little ones running around._

Okay, the guard goes from being an ass to a straight up bastard in a matter of seconds. Why does he think your cellmates are going to have sex with you? Even if you were having sex with them, why does it matter?

Is it because you’re the only female in an all-male prison? They can’t have porn magazines or watch any porn channels on TV but they can use their imagination to fantasize about you moaning as one of your cellmates’ thrusts inside of you deeply.

The thought makes you slightly queasy yet blush a little as an image of Hisoka’s naked body on top of yours flashes into your mind.

“Did you hear what I just said!” the guard yells at you.

“Why would Hisoka do that to me?” you blurt out.

Hisoka looks over at you and narrow his eyes. “What am I doing to you?”

“Yes, what exactly is he doing to you?” Phinks asks angrily as he crosses his arms.

_Is she thinking about having sex with Hisoka? Why can’t she think about having sex with me? Why does it always have to be him or Chrollo? Well, at least she doesn’t think about having sex with Feitan, Shalnark, or Illumi. Oh man, I don’t think anyone thinks about having sex with Illumi. He’s probably bad at it._

“I’m sure Illumi is good in bed,” you blurt out again.

Crap.

Phinks blushes hard. “Wha…What? What are you talking about?”

You clear your throat. “I mean, I didn’t mean to say that. I was..uh…nevermind.”

Illumi puts his hands into his pocket and laughs a little. “I’m sure I’m better at…”

“No one cares! Shut the hell up!” Feitan yells.

The guard puts his hand up into the air to silence everyone. “Hold on! Hold on! What the hell is going on? Are you guys having sex? Did you kill the prisoners in cell 49 because she’s not sucking your dick?”

“First of all, I’m not sucking anyone’s dick and second of all, we didn’t kill the prisoners in cell 49. They killed each other. You would have figured that out if you had actually done your job,” you say rudely.

The guard walks up to you and places his hand on your shoulder. “What the hell did you just say to me? You have the nerve to open your big mouth and try to tell me that I don’t know my job.” He takes his gun out of the holster and presses it against your skull. “I should kill you right now but I can’t do that since the warden wants us to leave you guys alone.” He places his finger on the trigger and chuckles. “You should learn to keep your mouth shut unless your cellmates ask you to get on your knees.”

Oh this bastard is going to hell. You clench and unclench your fist as he pulls the gun away from your head and places it back into the holster. He walks over to the door and kicks a trashcan over, spilling the garbage inside over the floor before opening up the door. The light from the hallway sneaks into the room and touches everything in its path before disappearing as the guard leaves and shuts the door.

“We need to keep an eye out for that guard. He’s definitely trying to get us into trouble so that we can lose our free time privileges,” Shalnark says walking over to the couch and sitting down on it. He picks up the remote off the coffee table and turns on the TV. “If that guard comes back, I’m going to turn him into a puppet.”

 “We may not like each other but we’re cellmates and it’s good to have each other’s back,” Kite says leaning against the wall. “If we’re going to survive the rest of our sentence in here, we really need to work together.”

“I agree with Kite. We should tell each other everything and not hide any secrets,” Chrollo suggests.

Well that’s going to be an issue considering that you can hear people’s thoughts and still haven’t told them the real reason why you’re in prison. Chrollo wants to gain your trust but you feel that he really wants to take charge since he’s the leader of a deadly gang. There’s no way in hell would you ever agree to reveal every secret to him.

That’s never going to happen.

In the meantime you can you can rest your voice so that you can audition for the play.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading this. Please leave a kudo or comment if you like.


	5. Chapter 5

 

 

Fridays aren’t that interesting because the guards assign every prisoner to clean a wing, their prison cell, or facilities in the prison. Your guard assigns you and your cellmates to clean an abandoned library in the south wing that smells like piss and looks like a tornado had marched through it. There’s broken chairs, tables that have fungus or something that looks like fungus growing on top of it. A large fish tank on a shelf near the entrance has green water inside of it with dead fish floating around.

You cringe as soon as you see the fish tank and pray the guard doesn’t ask you to clean it. If he did, you’ll ask Hisoka or Illumi to do it since you can’t stand the sight of dead fish nor handle the strong smell. Thinking about it makes you a little queasy as you pick up a rag on a small table near the check-out counter. The guard puts more rags on the counter and claps his hands to get everyone’s attention.

“I want this library spic and span by the time lunch rolls around. If it’s not, you’ll miss out on eating some delicious spicy chicken curry and garlic nan bread,” the guard says looking around at everyone, constantly raising their eyebrows as if it’s supposed to convince everyone to work faster. They clap their hands again. “Alright, let’s start cleaning.”

You make your way to the center of the room to see how big the library is. There’s a study room straight ahead of you that has tables piled to the ceiling and a second floor that has toppled bookshelves. A large window behind the bookshelves has a view of the ocean floor.

Hisoka, Phinks, Chrollo, and Illumi clean out the study room while Kaito, Feitan, and Shalnark clean the second floor. You’re relieved everyone is away from you working together like they should be so that the guard doesn’t yell for misbehaving. In fact, you believe the guard might go behind yelling and use their baton to bash someone’s skull until they either pass out or die to settle the situation. You heard this particular guard is known for violence over a friendly conversation. Even though they seem jolly and helpful at first when things are going right, a switch flips and their angry side appears instantly as soon as something goes wrong.

This is just great. You get stuck with the guard who is a ticking time bomb. Who knows what mischief your cellmates will get into while cleaning? Perhaps Hisoka will try to fight Chrollo or Illumi because he has to fight a strong opponent. No, wait. He’ll probably try to fight everyone including you. Okay, maybe he won’t try to fight you since you’re his “special fruit”.

“What’s a beautiful thing like you doing in an all-male prison? Did you kill someone or steal something expensive?” the guard asks in a low voice. They lean against the door and watch you clean a shelf above the return book box. “I promise I won’t tell anyone what you did.”

“I thought guards weren’t supposed to converse with the prisoners,” you say without making eye contact with them. A small spider that looks like it was dipped in glitter scurries across the shelf quickly and disappears into a small hole in the wall.

“I’m not like the other guards. Besides there’s no rule that says we can’t talk to the prisoners. In fact, I sometimes chat with the prisoners I’m assigned to during their free time,” they look away from you to the study room and lower their voice a little more. “Well, I used to look after some prisoners until they were killed. I’m going to catch the bastard who did it.”

You stop cleaning the shelf and eye them. “Why are you telling me this? It’s not like I can do anything about it.”

“I didn’t mean to say that out loud but since you heard it perhaps you can provide some detailed information as to who killed them,” the guard says looking at you with fire in their eyes. They walk over to the checkout counter and place their hands on the surface carefully as if it’s fragile and will break once their finger comes into contact with it. “Is there something that you want to tell me?”

You blink. “Excuse me?”

“Don’t act coy; I know you went to Bell’s room right before he was killed.”

“How do you know that?”

“It doesn’t matter how I know that,” they lean over the counter a little until their shadow covers most of it. “Did you kill Bell? Or did your cellmates do it?”

You narrow your eyes. “Even if I told you the truth, you still wouldn’t believe me.”

“Try me,” the guard says sarcastically.

You sigh a little. “It’s true that I went to Bell’s prison cell twice. The first time to talk to him and the second time to discuss some business but I wasn’t able to meet him.”

The guard makes an uh huh noise as they listen carefully. They lean away from the counter and place their hands behind their back slowly. You watch them pace back and forth several times, muttering something underneath their breath until they stop and look over at you.

“Why did you meet Bell? What exactly did he want you to do?” the guard asks in a serious tone.

Should you tell the guard why you had met Bell or spit out a lie?

“I…” you begin to say but stop as soon as Kaito, Shalnark, and Feitan approach the checkout counter carrying boxes full of cleaning supplies and discolored sponges. They place the box on the counter and dust off their uniform.

“We’re done cleaning. I’m going back to the prison cell,” Feitan says walking past the guard to the door. The guard slams their hand down on the counter hard to get his attention. “What do you want? I’m leaving.”

“Not until the entire place is spotless,” the guard says slamming his hand on the counter hard again. “Get back to work or I’m taking away your free time privileges.”

“You can’t tell me what to do,” Feitan says angrily.

Good gosh, would Feitan follow the guard’s orders so that you can keep your free time privileges. You have already lost two free time privileges and want to keep the next one so that you can go to the lounge and watch a movie alone. Staying inside the prison cell all day with your cellmates makes you want to rip your hair out.

They are extremely obnoxious.

“Just clean the room!” you yell.

Feitan narrows his eyes at you before grabbing a rag and storming off to the second floor. The guard makes a growling noise like an angry cat about to attack someone for putting their hands in its face. They walk away from the checkout counter to the study room to check up on your other cellmates.

Kaito looks over at the study crossing his arms. “What was that about?”

“It’s nothing,” you say quickly scrubbing the shelf again until it shines underneath the light.

Shalnark makes a humming noise. “Whatever the case is, we should hurry up and clean this place so that we can eat dinner. I’m looking forward to eating spicy chicken curry.”

“Yeah, sure,” you mutter.

Eating spicy chicken curry seems a lot better than having a conversation with the guard. If they really were Bell’s guard, it seems like you may have a problem.

It looks like you won’t be able to join your free time after all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading this. Please leave a kudo or comment if you like. :)


	6. Chapter 6

 

Sometimes you feel like you are going crazy every day, every hour, every minute, and every second as you sit inside of the prison cell, staring at a calendar on the wall above the TV. It’s July 16th which means you have two days left until you are able to talk to your lawyer about your case. Hopefully they have good news. Maybe they have bad news which will tip you over the edge.

Today, the guards are allowing all of the prisoners to watch a movie in a clean theater room in the north wing, the side that has the semi-decent prisoners who enjoy talking about their hobbies or showing pictures of their family. Supposedly their prison cells are bigger consisting of two rooms and a Jacuzzi in a master bathroom. How they managed to get locked in one instead of you is a mystery.

Phinks enters the prison cell wearing a towel around his waist carrying a bucket that has shampoo, soap, and a washcloth in it. He places the bucket on the top bunk and walks over to a dresser near the couch to grab a new uniform.

“Are you going to watch me get dressed or can you turn around?” Phinks asks rudely.

You roll your eyes as you turn around to give him privacy. “I thought you were going to watch the movie with the others.”

“Why would I want to watch a horrible movie about people racing cars and fighting in ugly outfits in a wresting ring?” Phinks says tossing his towel on the floor and putting on his uniform. He picks up the towel off the floor and places it on his wet hair. “You can turn around now.”

You watch him plop down on the couch and prop his feet up on the coffee table. It’s strange to be in the prison cell alone with him since you’re usually surrounded by the other criminals. It feels as if they all had purposely gone to see the movie so that you can be alone with him.

You sit down on the other side of the couch cross legged and stare at Phinks. He closes his eyes as he dries his hair with the towel. After a few minutes, he tosses the towel on the floor and turns on the TV. You want to tell him to pick up his towel but he’ll only rip your head off for trying to tell him what to do.

“What do you want to do?” you ask knowing he’s going to give you a smart ass answer.

Phinks shrugs. “I’m going to watch TV and stay here until the others return.”

“What are you going to do with them? Can I come?” you ask continuing to stare at him. You notice that his uniform is wrinkled a little and there’s a stain on the sleeve. “While we wait, I can iron your clothes.”

Phinks glances at you. “What? Why are you being so nice to me?”

You shrug. “I have nothing else to do in this hell hole.”

“So? Why don’t you pester someone else,” Phinks says rudely looking away from you to the TV. A commercial about bungeegum flavored ice cream is shown in a love hotel for some reason and suddenly you feel awkward; really awkward.

For one, why would anyone make bungeegum flavored ice cream and two, why are people eating it in a love hotel? You figure they would eat it in an amusement park or at home while watching a romance film. It seems like this commercial is more about getting laid than eating ice cream.

What the heck?

“I wouldn’t mind that,” Phinks mutters as he watches two people eat ice cream at a heart shaped table in the shabby hotel room. One person laughs loudly with ice cream in their mouth while the other person blushes like a teenager meeting their crush behind the bleachers.

“They don’t have bungeegum flavored ice cream in this prison and even if they did, you have to pay a lot of money for it. The only person who has a lot of money is Illumi and well, he’s not here,” you say in a matter of fact tone.

Phinks shrugs again. “I have money and I’m sure if I went to the store I would be able to find some bungeegum flavored ice cream.”

“And I’m sure you’ll steal the ice cream, because that’s only thing you know how to do, and it will get all of us in trouble. I’ll lose my free time privileges and the guards will probably beat the crap out of you.”

“I never said that I was going to steal it.”

“How are you supposed to eat it if you don’t steal it or buy it?”

Phinks narrows his eyes. “I never said that I wasn’t going to buy it. Why do you assume that I’m going to steal it?”

“Hmm let’s see, you’re a member in the Phantom Troupe which is a group of deadly criminals, wait thieves, who enjoy stealing and killing innocent people,” you say so fast that the words come out in one breath.

Phinks snorts. “Are you jealous?”

“Why would I be jealous?” you say picking up Chrollo’s pillow next to you and placing it on your lap. You really want throw it at Phinks face or suffocate him with it.

“You seem jealous,” Phinks says standing up, stretching his arms. His wet hair bounces a little as he walks over to the door and takes a step out into the hallway. “Are you coming with me or not? I’ll prove to you that I can buy ice cream.”

~*~

By the time you reach the store, there are several guards standing by the entrance, holding guns with a scowl on their face. You walk past them slowly, keeping your eye on their gun. They don’t say anything as you enter the store and continue to monitor the prisoners lurking in the hallway.

There are some prisoners standing in the aisles and at the check-out counter. They glance over at you as soon as you pass them and whisper something to the prisoner standing next to them. You try not to make eye contact with them and follow Phinks to an aisle in the back that has a large freezer filled with ice cream and fruit popsicles.

Phinks makes a humming noise as he stares at the different flavored ice creams, occasionally gasping a little whenever he sees his favorite flavor. He finally opens up the door after a bit and grabs a small container that has a picture of a creepy clown eating a stick of bungee gum on it. A price tag hanging off of it says 4,000 jenny which is a lot since the other ice creams cost 1,000 jenny.

Why is this ice cream so expensive?

“Are you going to buy your own are you planning on eating mine?” Phinks asks walking toward the check-out counter, holding the ice cream close to his body as if it were a new born baby.

You snort. “Maybe I’ll eat some of yours while we cuddle on the couch and watch a horror film.”

“Stop messing around with me.”

You nudge him in the side with your elbow. “I’ll do it minus the cuddling part if you pay for the ice cream.”

Phinks places the ice cream on the counter and takes out his cash card form his pants pocket. The employee waits for him to hand over his cash card but Phinks hesitates for a few minutes as if he’s about to hand over a document containing personal information. You nudge in the side again with your elbow and whisper into his ear.

“I knew it. You can’t pay for anything,” you say taking a cash card from your pants pocket and handing it over to the employee. Phinks place his hand on your arm and growls like an angry cat. “If you’re going to pay for it then do it.”

“Shut up,” Phinks says through clenched teeth as he places the cash card on the counter with shaky hands. Sweat rolls down the side of his face. “I can pay for it. It’s not that hard.”

“Then why are you sweating to death? Just face it, you feel guilty about paying for the ice cream because you much rather steal it,” you whisper.

Phinks leans away from you. “Shut up! I can do this.”

The employee looks over at the guards at the entrance and back at you and Phinks frowning. “Are we going to have a problem? Do I need to call the guards?”

You place your hand on Phinks’s arm and lower your voice. “No, everything’s okay. He’s on edge because…well, we’re going to have sex for the first time.”

Phinks chokes on his spit and coughs hard. “Wh..what? I’m not going to have sex with her! I’m just…it doesn’t matter!”

“Your total is 4,000 jenny. Would you like a receipt?” the employee picks up Phinks’s cash card and scans it on a flat screen attached to the register. It makes a noise that sounds like chimes blowing in the wind.

“Th..thanks,” Phinks says grabbing his cash card with shaky hands and stuffing it into his pants pocket. “I..uh…let’s go.”

 Phinks grabs the bag with ice cream in it and proceeds to leave the store but the employee calls after him. He stops walking and spins around so fast that he almost falls on the floor. The guards standing at the entrance turn around to see what he’s doing, aiming their guns at him, ready to put a bullet into his skull if he tries anything.

The employee turns around and grabs a box of condoms from a glass case and holds it up in the air for everyone to see it. “Sir, you forgot to buy condoms. If you’re going to have sex, you have to use condoms. It’s a rule in this prison.”

Phinks cheeks turn beat red as the other prisoners and the guards stare at him. More sweat rolls down the side of his face as he marches back to the check-out and slams his cash card on the counter. If he doesn’t pay for it, the guards will make him pay for it since you made the mistake of mentioning sex in public.

Crap.

“The condoms are 5,000 jenny. Would you like a receipt?” the employee asks picking up the cash card and scanning it on the flat screen again. They place it back on the counter and put the box of condoms into a plastic bag.

You grab the plastic bag and push Phinks out of the store as he stuffs his cash card back into his pants pocket. The guards lower their guns and mutter something underneath their breath as you pass them and walk back to your prison cell.

As you walk down the hallway, you try to hide the bag with the condoms in it by tucking it underneath your arm. Parts of it can be seen through the plastic which isn’t a big issue because from a distance it looks like a box of tampons.

“Why did you tell the employee that we’re going to have sex?” Phinks whispers as he passes some prisoners standing in front of their prison cell chatting.

“I didn’t think the employee would tell you to buy condoms in front of everyone. Plus I panicked because the guards were staring at us as if they wanted to shoot us,” you whisper back.

As soon as you reach your prison cell, Phinks pulls you inside and slides the door shut until it makes a clicking noise to notify him that it’s locked. The only way to open it on the outside is to use a key or ask a guard in the security room press a button which opens up the door automatically.

Phinks grabs a spoon from the desk near the bunk bed and plops down on the couch to eat his ice cream. He doesn’t even bother scooping it into a bowl. Instead he shoves it into his mouth frantically while staring at a commercial on the TV.

You sit down beside him and almost laugh at the way he eats but hold it back because he might rip your head off again for causing an embarrassing scene in the store. It’s interesting to know that the troupe member gets flustered easily when sex is mentioned.

“I’m sorry for embarrassing you in the store. Like I said before, I didn’t think the employee was going to announce to the world that you needed to buy condoms,” you say leaning back against the couch.

Phinks shoves more ice cream into his mouth and swallows it before speaking. “If we weren’t cellmates, I’d kill you.”

“And if you weren’t a psychopath I would actually want to be friends.”

“There’s more to me than just killing people and stealing things. I do have hobbies,” Phinks says before he shoves more ice cream into his mouth.

“Uh huh sure,” you say picking up the remote off the coffee table and aiming it at the TV. “What movie do you want to look at?”

“It doesn’t matter,” Phinks replies.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading this.


	7. Chapter 7

 

Sometimes you wonder if Feitan is made fun of whenever he eats in the cafeteria or takes a shower in the shabby shower down the hallway from your prison cell. He looks like a pre-teen who’s too young to be locked in a maximum security prison deep in the ocean. Some prisoners’ joke that there’s no kiddy prison cell filled with toys and stuff animals or that there’s no kiddy table in the cafeteria. As soon as the joke rolls off their tongue, the small thief lunges at them and attempts to stab them in the chest but the guards toss him aside like trash.

Feitan sits on the couch across from you eating a bowl of caramel popcorn and drinking soda. He stuffs his mouth with popcorn and leans forward to pick up the TV remote off the coffee table while holding onto the bowl. Some popcorn falls out of the bowl and onto the floor.

“You have a sweet tooth,” you say looking away from him to the book in your hands. You flip to another page and attempt to read the first paragraph but wait for Feitan’s response.

Feitan leans back against the couch and aims the remote at the TV. “Buy me more junk food from the store.”

You look up at him and narrow your eyes. “Excuse me? Why can’t you do it yourself? Better yet, are you going to give me your cash card to pay for it?”

“No. A thief doesn’t pay for anything. If there’s something I want, I take it.”

“Why don’t you steal junk food from the store?”

“Too lazy. I want to eat popcorn and watch TV.”

He flips through channels until he finds a movie to look at it. There are two people sitting inside of a large room that has awful paintings on the wall. Some blood is next to them along with a rusty knife and fork. You suspect it’s a B-rated horror film that has a ridiculous ending in which the killer dies from a drop of water instead of a bullet to the skull. Shopping for junk food at the store seems better than watching this senseless movie.

You hold out your hand and wait for him to toss his cash card over to you but he stuffs his mouth with more popcorn instead. He chews it with his mouth open and washes it down with soda. After a few minutes, he looks over at you and burps loudly.

“Why aren’t you gone? Buy me bungeegum ice cream, soda, and chocolate pudding,” Feitan says rudely as he grabs more popcorn from the bowl. “Also, buy me dirty magazine.”

“Dirty maga…” you trail off as soon as you realize what he means.

He wants you to buy a porn magazine from the store so that he can use it later today or in the morning. You try not to think about him masturbating as he flips through the magazine, looking at explicit pictures.

“I’m not buying you that,” you say walking over to him. You reach your hand out toward his face and wait for him to put his cash card in it. “Give me your cash card.”

“I don’t pay. A thief takes what they want.”

“Feitan, give me your cash card.”

“No.”

You sigh. “Fine, I’ll ask Chrollo to pay for it.”

“He doesn’t pay.”

“He will pay otherwise you won’t get your precious dirty magazine,” you say moving away from him.

Feitan snorts. “Fine, I steal it.”

It’s one thing or another with him. If he can’t have his way he’ll resort to drastic measures which will get everyone in trouble. You don’t want to lose your free time privileges and you don’t want to buy a porn magazine from the store. There has to be some way to resolve this issue.

Just as you walk toward the door, Hisoka, Kaito, and Illumi walk in carrying a basket filled with clean laundry. The uniforms hugging their muscular body are wrinkled like Feitans. It makes you wonder if they know how to iron their clothes because every day they wear a wrinkled uniform that sometimes has a stain on the sleeve.

They place their basket on the floor and sort their clean laundry, pulling out their uniform, boxers, and socks one by one. They place it on the dirty floor instead of the clean bed and fold them neatly as if a guard will stop by to inspect the room’s tidiness.

“I need your cash card,” you say to Illumi.

Illumi looks over at Kaito. “Give her my cash card.”

“I don’t have it. I gave it to Hisoka,” Kaito says looking over at the creepy magician whose holding his boxers that have pictures of bungeegum wrappers on it.

Hisoka folds his boxers and places it beside him. “I don’t have the cash card. I gave it to Chrollo but he won’t be back until later.”

You throw your hands up in the air and march over to the door. It seems like it’s always one thing or another with them. Why can’t they cooperate like normal people? Oh wait, because they are bloodthirsty criminals who love to piss you off.

“Forget it! I’ll buy the things for Feitan!” you yell.

Hisoka raises an eyebrow. “What things?”

“Dirty magazine and junk food,” Feitan says looking over at Hisoka.

“I can show you where the magazine is in the store,” Illumi offers as he folds his uniform.

“No, no, no! That’s fine. I can find it myself,” you say before leaving the room.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading this.


	8. Chapter 8

 

 

You wonder the hallways in your cellblock carrying a romance novel Chrollo had finished last week and a can of grape soda in the other. A few prisoners greet you politely while others muttering something underneath their breath. A guard walks up to you frowning hard, reaching for their gun as if they are preparing to put a bullet into your skull. You stop walking, swallow hard, and look for an empty prison cell to dive into before the guard shoots but nothing happens.

The guard ends up resting their hand on their gun holster as they walk past you and enter a prison cell at the end of the hallway. You suck in your breath and blow it out slowly because it seems like you get to live another day in what seems like hell.

As soon as you enter your prison cell, you find Feitan and Phinks sitting on the couch with their feet propped on the coffee table eating a bag of chocolate marshmallows that are in the shape of hearts. You wonder where they got it since it’s not sold in the store. It’s possible they stole it.

“Where have you been?” Feitan asks, grabbing a handful of chocolate marshmallows. He shoves them into his mouth, swallows, and speaks again. “Hisoka has been looking for you all day.”

You sigh a little. “What does that psycho want?”

Phinks shrugs. “Does it really matter?”

Of course it matters. It’s Hisoka after all. Who knows what twisted game he has planned for you.

“Did he say where he went or what time he’s coming back?” you ask sitting down on your bed. Next to you are a stack of folded towels that are arranged in size from biggest to smallest. Illumi must have placed it here and forget to put it away before he left. “Is anyone else looking for me?”

Feitan looks over at you and licks some chocolate off his bottom lip. “I was but Shalnark got what I was asking for.”

“Which was?” you ask raising an eyebrow as you stare at Feitan.

Feitan points to the bag of chocolate marshmallows. “He stole this from the prisoners next door.”

Phinks grabs a handful of chocolate marshmallows and extends his hand toward you. “You should try some.”

You rather eat a dish cooked by Illumi than take food out of Phinks’s hand. You don’t know where his hands have been nor if he has washed them today. Usually he doesn’t wash his hands after he uses the restroom or when he takes out the trash. You are surprised he doesn’t get sick a lot from his poor hygiene.

“What else did he steal?” you ask looking up at the top bunk where Feitan sleeps. There is a pile of dirty laundry, empty potato chip bags, and used tissues. The sight of the tissues makes you cringe a little because there is a possibility he used them for something other than his nose. “If we get into trouble…”

“Relax, we’re not going to get into trouble,” Phinks says slightly irritated as he picks up the remote off the coffee table and turns to a new channel.

You narrow your eyes. “Don’t tell me to relax. I’m sick and tired of you telling me to stay calm when I know you just committed a crime.” You point to the bag of chocolate marshmallows, gritting your teeth. “Stealing that from someone else who may or not have bought it at the store is a crime.”

“They got it from a guard who goes to the store outside the prison daily,” Feitan says in a matter of fact tone. He laughs a little as he grabs a handful of chocolate marshmallows. “Are you going to nag the guard and the prisoner for committing a crime too? Technically the guards aren’t supposed to give us…”

“I know that!” you yell, standing up quickly. “Why can’t you two act normal for once? Why do you always have to steal from other people?”

Phinks snorts. “Why do you always nag us?”

“I don’t,” you say defensively.

“You do. You just don’t realize it,” Feitan says looking at you.

Just as you open your mouth to say something, Shalnark, Kaito, Chrollo, Hisoka, and Illumi enter the room quietly. A guard follows behind and looks around the prison cell slowly before leaving the room without say anything. At first, you thought the guard was going to yell at everyone for the stolen bag of chocolate marshmallows but it seems like they don’t know about it.

“Did you get the things for Feitan, Shalnark?” Chrollo asks sitting down on the couch with a book in his hand. He smiles at Feitan before speaking again. “What about the special thing for our cellmate?”

“I was planning on bringing it here later,” Shalnark says looking over at you with a twinkle in his eyes. “Hopefully, it’s the right color.”

Wait, why would Chrollo ask Shalnark to steal something for you? You are not a member in the Phantom Troupe and he knows that you would never accept a stolen gift.

“I’m sorry but whatever you stole for me, I don’t want it. In fact, I want every single thing stolen in here out right now,” you say angrily, staring at Feitan and Phinks.

Phinks laughs a little. “I think you might change your mind once you see the gift.”

“It’s not a gift if you stole it from someone else,” you say sharply.

Hisoka pats you on the shoulder and leans toward your ear. “Are you sure you want…”

“They stole a really expensive nightgown from a guard’s locker,” Illumi says, interrupting Hisoka.

You blink. “Wait, why would you steal that for?”

“Why do you think?” Shalnark asks placing his hand on his hip. “Isn’t it obvious that we want you to wear something different at night?”

You want to run out of the room and request a transfer to a different prison cell immediately. Whatever sick, perverted thoughts they have swarming in their mind isn’t going to become reality. There is no way you are wearing an expensive nightgown so that they can have something exciting to look at before sleeping.

You blush. “I’m not wearing a nightgown for you perverts! What’s wrong with me wearing my uniform to bed?”

Chrollo makes a humming noise. “There are holes and bleach stains on it. I figure you would want to wear something comfortable to bed.” He opens up his book and taps his finger on the page. “The nightgown isn’t revealing if that’s what you are thinking and it comes with a shower cap and towel.”

Feitan raises his hand up in the air. “To be honest, I just want to see you wearing something sexy.”

“Me too,” Phinks adds blushing a little.

Kaito leans against the wall and shakes his head. “Take it back to the locker before the guard finds out. I don’t want to lose my free time privileges.”

“Thank you Kaito for agreeing with me. I’m glad you aren’t a psychotic pervert like the others,” you say looking at him.

“He’s a bigger pervert than me. I saw him master…” Phinks begins to say but Hisoka interrupts him.

“If you don’t like our gift, you can always throw it away or sell it,” Hisoka says in a cooing tone.

“I still don’t want it,” you say, taking a step away from Hisoka. He places his hands on his hips and smiles wide, baring his fangs. “Give it to someone else!”

“No, we are bringing it here and you’ll wear it tonight,” Phinks says crossing his arms, smiling. “If you don’t wear it, I think we’ll have to do something reckless so that we can lose our free time privileges.”

If only you had a knife to stab Phinks in the chest. No, wait. If only you had a teleportation machine that teleported you to a deserted island away from your psychotic cellmates. Forget wearing a nightgown when you can enjoy a peaceful night alone, lying on white sand underneath the stars. That would be the best gift anyone could ever give you.

It looks like you really won’t be able to enjoy your free time tonight peacefully.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading this. I will be updating more chapters soon. Please leave a kudo or comment if you like.


	9. Chapter 9

 

 

You stand in the hallway with a broom in your left hand and a dustpan in the other, listening to a couple of prisoner’s chat about an event that happened last night in the laundry room. They occasionally glance at you and whisper into each other ear before giggling like freaking high schoolers. If you could clean a different hallway in the prison, you would but your guard doesn’t want you to.

“Well, well, well, if it isn’t the man eater,” a prisoner says from behind you in a raspy voice. He laughs a little. “I heard your cellmates are cleaning the shower room and bathroom.”

You ignore him as you sweep up some dust next to an empty prison cell. The prisoner puts his hands and his hips as he walks over to you, narrowing his eyes and studying your movements as if he is looking for an opportunity to launch an attack.

“Are you bored with your cellmates?” he looks around the hallway to make sure the other prisoners aren’t eavesdropping before speaking again. “Are you looking for new cellmates? I know a couple of prisoners who wouldn’t mind sharing a prison cell with you.”

You sigh a little, knowing if you continue to remain silent he won’t leave you alone. The only way to shut him up and get him to go away is to answer his question. “What do you want?”

He shrugs. “Nothing.” He stares at your uniform up and down, grinning a little. “I’m still surprised the prison actually allowed a woman.” He takes another step forward casually, carefully, continuing to your eye movements like a hawk staring at its prey. “I also heard two more females are coming to the prison. I wonder if they lock you in the same prison cell with them or…”

You look over at him, raising an eyebrow. “Who told you that? I doubt it will happen.”

“I hope it happens. It would make things quite interesting,” he says eerily.

“For me or for you?”

“Both but mostly for you. Your cellmates will be taken away from you,” he says, pretending to be sad for you.

You look away from him and sweep some more dust off the floor. “It would be nice to share a prison cell with them.” He grows quiet but taps his foot on the floor. “If you think I’m going to start crap with them because I want to be the only woman in this prison, you’re wrong.”

“Even if they are hotter than you?”

Hotter? Is he saying you are attractive? You see yourself as a plain Jane not as a hot woman who is able to get every man or woman’s jaw to drop when you walk by. Either he is pulling your leg or he honestly thinks you are hot.

Dismissing his compliment, you look for more dust on the floor but don’t see any so you pretend to sweep some into the dustpan, trying to make it seem like you are busy so that he leaves. It doesn’t work. He looks at the floor and laughs hard.

“I saw some dust in that direction,” he points down the hallway to a spot on the floor next a large trash can. “I could take you there if you really are trying to clean.”

“I can find it myself,” you say rudely, walking past him to the spot. He follows you like a lost puppy, which pisses you off.

“So, do you want to know when they will arrive? I can tell you,” he teases. You glance back at him to see what he looks like so that you can find him later and attempt to kill him for being a nuisance.

His hair is long, messy, and curly at the tips. You can’t tell what color his eyes are because they are hidden behind large aviator sunglasses that seem to shine off his dark skin. His uniform is very clean, ironed, and has small anime patches of characters you seen in a fighting game at the arcade.

“Why are you following me?” you ask.

He shrugs again. He really likes doing that which annoys you. “I have nothing better else to do or maybe I do but I find you interesting.”

“Why? Aren’t I a man eater? I might try to shove you in one of these prison cells and have my way with you,” you say annoyed.

He adjusts his sunglasses. “Nah, you aren’t the type.”

“Which one am I? A man eater or not?”

“I was kidding earlier.”

You sweep up the dust off the floor next to the trashcan while the prisoner, whatever his name is, eyes you carefully. He puts his hands into his pants pockets and taps one foot on the floor. The tapping is steady at first but than he does it every thirty seconds. You want to tell him to stop but try to ignore him as you sweep dust into the dust pan and empty it into the trash can.

“Do you always say terrible things to people or only to woman,” you ask, pushing the trashcan to the side to see if dust is underneath it. There is some next to a stain that looks like dry paint. “It’s understandable that everyone thinks I’m sleeping with my cellmates but I’m not and I wouldn’t.” You look over at him. “Even if they were the last men on Earth, I would never have sex with them.”

He nods his head. “I know. I told you I was kidding earlier. I’m sorry if I hurt your feelings.”

“You didn’t hurt my feelings, you pissed me off,” you correct him.

“I’m sorry. I really am. Sometimes I say stupid things that piss people off,” he says sincerely as he looks down at his shoes. “Can you forgive me?”

_She isn’t going to forgive me. Crap, I messed up my chance to become her friend. I really want to be her friend since I don’t have any friends in this prison. I don’t why I said terrible things to her. Maybe I’m jealous she is sharing a prison cell with buff dudes who could get any chick they want. Darn it. I’m definitely jealous. What can I do to make it right?_

Oh, no. This guy really likes you but why? You have never seen him in your cellblock which means he is from another wing. Maybe the east wing since the south wing has the deadliest criminals and he doesn’t come off as one. If he has seen you, it was probably in the cafeteria since it’s shared with the east and west wing. It’s also possible he has asked around about you.

Should you become his friend or not? He did apologize and he isn’t trying to have his way with you, not that you would ever allow that to happen. The minute a guy tries touching you, they can say goodbye to their manhood.

“What is your name?” you ask.

He looks up from his shoes at you, surprised. “My name is Jak. But people call me,”-he lowers his voice. “Thumper.”

“I’ll call you Jak. It sounds better than Thumper.”

“I like both but it’s whatever.”

_Is she agreeing to be my friend?_

“So, what wing do you stay in?”

“I’m actually transferring to the prison cell next to yours,” he says, pushing the trashcan back to its original place. “And no, I didn’t request it.”

“I wasn’t going to ask that,” you snap. “When do you move into the prison cell?”

“I moved in last night after the lights were turned off,” he says.

That explains why you heard a lot of noise last night.

A guard walks up to you and Jak, holding a clipboard. He stops a few inches away and looks at the floor, making a uh-huh noise as he searches for dust. When he doesn’t see any, he looks at you.

“Good job at cleaning the floor,” he looks at Jak. “What are you doing here? You are supposed to be cleaning the cafeteria.”

“I finished early so the guard told me to come here,” he replies quickly.

The guard narrows his eyes. “Did you actually do any work here or have you been flirting with her?”

Jak shakes his head. “No, I helped the prisoners down the hallway clean before I flirted with her.”

“Thumper, quit being a smartass,” the guard growls. He points to the trashcan. “Bring this to the shower room before you return to your prison cell.” He looks at you. “You’re coming with me to the doctor’s office.”

“For what?” you ask.

“A full body examination,” he says.

~*~

Phinks, Feitan, Chrollo, and Kaito scrub the grimy tile floor with a small brush in the bathroom while Hisoka, Shalnark, and Illumi clean the shower room across from it. Even though both rooms smell like cleaning supplies, there is still a small stench of piss in the air. A guard makes note of the disgusting smell several times, hinting to your cellmates to clean harder until the smell is gone.

Another guard stands in the doorway to the shower room, staring at Chrollo and Phinks scrub the floor and barks at them whenever they miss a spot. Kaito wipes sweat off his forehead while Feitan attempts to use a urinal but the guard snaps his fingers at him and points to the floor.  


“You aren’t allowed to piss until the floor is clean,” he says, snapping his fingers again. Feitan moves away from the urinal and gets on his hands and knees to scrub the floor. “Make sure you clean under the urinal you were about to use.”

“Boss, can I kill him?” Feitan looks over at Chrollo who is scrubbing the floor gently with a large brush that is missing some of it’s bristles. “I can’t hold it any longer.”

Kaito dips his brush into a buck filled with soapy water next to him and scrubs the floor harder. “Maybe you should have peed before we left our prison cell.”

“Or you can pee on the floor and clean it up,” Phinks suggests.

Feitan grins. “I’ll pee on the spot you just scrubbed at.”

“Would you two stop it!” Kaito says, raising his voice. The guard takes a step into the room, placing his hand on his gun holster. “Clean the floor quietly. The more you talk, the more it will get us in trouble.”

Phinks stops scrubbing the floor and looks around the room. “The room is clean enough. Continuing to scrub the floor won’t do anything.”

“It doesn’t matter. Just do it until the guard tells us to stop,” Kaito demands, looking at Phinks. Phinks cracks his knuckles and points to the guard who is now looking into the bathroom. “If you want to piss, do it now while the guard isn’t looking.”

Feitan tosses his brush into the bucket next to Kaito and empties his bladder into a drain in between two urinals. If he uses the urinal, he would have to flush which would alert the guard. After he finishes, he takes his brush out of the bucket and scrubs the drain right as the guard returns to the doorway.

“Alright, it’s time to take a break,” the guard says. He moves away from the doorway to tell Shalnark, Illumi, and Hisoka the same information. When he returns, he ushers everyone to sit on benches in the locker room between the shower room and bathroom. “You have eight minutes to relax before you have to clean again.”

Kaito sits down on a bench close to the wall and Hisoka, Illumi, and Shalnark sit across from him. Chrollo sits in between Phinks and Feitan on a bench next to the bathroom. Right as the guard is about to sit down on a bench, a guard and two prisoners enter the room.

~*~

“I thought I was going to the doctor’s office,” you say, as the guard escorts you inside of a locker room where you find your cellmates sitting down on benches. “Why am I here?”

The guard guides you to a bench and points to it. “The doctor is busy. For now, you will help your cellmates clean this room.”

“Did you just say cellmates?” Jak squeals as he pushes the trashcan into the room. He looks at your cellmates and opens his mouth wide when he realizes who they are. “Oh my gosh! You’re the Phantom Troupe!”

“Yes, we are,” Phinks says proudly.

Feitan nudges Phinks in the side with his elbow. “Should we flip a coin to see who can kill him first?”

“Sure,” Phinks realizes into his pocket and takes out a coin. He flips it in the air. “Heads.”

“Tails,” Feitan says.

Before the coin reaches Phinks’s hand, you grab it and shove it into your pocket. “Seriously, do you two always have to cause mischief?”

Jak sits down next to you and taps his foot on the floor. “You never told me your cellmates are the Phantom Troupe.” He looks at the Troupe members slowly, smiling wide like a child looking at their favorite toy in a toy shop. He stops smiling when he sees Kaito and Illumi. “Who are they?”

“Illum is a Zoldyck and Kaito is a pro hunter,” you say.

Jak makes a humming noise. “I see. I see.” He leans toward you and whispers. “Why is a pro hunter in prison? I thought they were supposed to uphold the law, not break it.”

You shrug. “I don’t know and I don’t care.”

“What crawled up your ass and died?” Jak whispers.

You lean away from him and cross your arms. “Nothing.” You look over at the guard sitting on the bench. “What room do you want me to clean?”

“Choose one,” the guard replies without making eye contact with you. He takes out keys from his pocket and checks the time on his watch. “I’m going to lock you guys in here for a bit. By the time I return, I expect this place to be clean.”

_I’ll find a way to escape this place by the time the guard returns._

You look over at Chrollo with fire in your eyes. If he is thinking about escaping, you won’t let it happen. It can’t happen! You want your free time privileges and if he gets caught, you won’t be able to leave your prison cell for a while.

“I’m so sick and tired of his crap,” you mutter as you close your eyes and sigh hard. “I hope he doesn’t do anything stupid.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading this. I'll be writing more during my break from graduate school and trying to upload more chapters.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading this. Please leave a kudo or comment if you like. :)


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